Human Rights

This post is a change of pace. This post is about love, and the importance of recognizing all forms of love. I recently moved from Iowa to South Dakota to be with my boy as he is stationed out here. This transition has been very difficult for me in general, but particularly for me as a bisexual female. In Iowa, all LGBT individuals are protected in housing, employment, bullying laws, and hospital visits. We are also one of the few states that have legalized gay marriage. Iowa is truly a state that protects all citizens, regardless of color, religion, sexual orientation, or gender identity. I felt so protected in Iowa that I almost didn't even think of my sexual orientation on a daily basis. I didn't think about how it affected my life, or how it affected how other's viewed me, because I am so comfortable with myself, and so comfortable with the law I had at my back. Then I moved to South Dakota. Here, I could be denied housing if I was living with a same-sex partner instead of an opposite sex one. I could be denied a job or fired from a job if my employers found out my sexual orientation. Same sex partners do not have hospital visitation rights. Same sex partners cannot adopt children. Same sex partners cannot marry, nor are they even given the option of domestic partnership or civil union. Now, my sexual orientation is very obvious to me. I have to hide it. I have to keep my mouth closed. I could be in danger, and completely under protection of the law, if I am honest and open about who I am. I feel like I am less than everyone around me, and I feel like it is painfully obvious. 

Last weekend I went to Pride here in Rapid City. The event was small. There were 5 booths set up, and a few people playing songs throughout the day. It all took place in a small park, less than one square-block, and fewer than 300 people showed up throughout the day. It was sad and small. Afterwards, I decided I had to make a change. Monday, I start volunteering at Black Hills Center for Equality. My goal is to raise awareness about the necessity for legal change, and if that is not possible to at least create a more powerful, united community so that no one feels alone, even if everywhere else in the community they feel attacked.

It has never been more apparent to me how necessary legal protection is than when I was suddenly denied them. Only now do I really realize, first hand, how important that legal protection is. How much harm it does when it is not present, and how degrading it is to be treated, in every aspect, like a second-class citizen. I deserve the same rights as every straight person in our society. I deserve to hold a job if I am qualified, regardless of my sexual orientation. I deserve housing regardless of who I am living with. I deserve to visit a loved one in the hospital even if my loved one is a same-sex partner. All children deserve to be protected from bullying in school regardless of sexual or gender identity. All people deserve to be protected from hate crimes regardless of their sexual or gender identity. It should not be political. It should not be religious. It should be obvious. Human rights are for all people, of all color, of all walks of life, of all socioeconomic statuses, of all genders, of all sexualities. Human rights are for all of us.

EOD Memorial

Almost exactly a month ago my fiance and I made the emotional decision to go down to Eglin Air Force Base in Florida to attend the annual EOD memorial. 287 names of fallen EOD brethren are listed on the memorial. These names represent those who gave the ultimate sacrifice in times of war since EOD was officially formed in 1942. Of those 287 names, 128 have been added since September 11, 2001.  This year 18 names were added, more than any other single year since the memorial's construction: 5 soldiers, 5 marines, 3 sailors, and 5 airmen. One of those names was my boy's best friend, Joseph Hamski, KIA May 26, 2011. At the memorial the Air Force chief of staff acted as keynote speaker, speaking of the continued importance of EOD technicians even as the US withdraws troops, as IEDs and roadside bombs continue to be the number one killer of US troops in Afghanistan. One thing was said during the speech that has truly stuck with me, and I feel truly exemplifies the EOD techs of the US military: "The brains of an engineer, the hands of a surgeon, and the courage of a martyr. These are our EOD techs." I could not have said it better, and I could not be more proud.


The memorial was a very emotional experience, and I cried through most of the ceremony. After the ceremony we went up to the wall and honored the names of our fallen brothers. We also spoke to some of the widows and family members of the deceased, especially Joseph Hamski's wife. Nearly a year after her husband's death she was able to have a smile on her face through the tears falling and she was truly appreciative of the support and love surrounding her. She is beautiful and strong, and I truly admire her perseverance in the face of unimaginable pain and loss. This marked only the third time I met her, but I feel so connected to her, as if I have to do everything I can to take care of her. I only hope if something happened to my boy I would be shown the same care. I just wanted to hold her and make all the pain go away. Of course, that is simply not possible, but that's what I wanted to do.


After the memorial, later that evening, there was a ball. Here a memorial video was shown of all 18 service members honored at the ceremony, and I just bawled through the whole thing. It was so touching, and so sad. It is unbelievably tragic, but only a month after the ceremony, we already have 5 more names to be added to the wall at the 2013 ceremony. I can't wait for the year we never have to add another name to this beautiful and tragic memorial.

I walked away from the weekend filled with sorrow, fear, respect, and pride. I couldn't be more proud of my boy for doing the most dangerous job in the world. I couldn't have more respect for every man and woman who does this job with bravery and selfishness unmatched by anything I have ever seen. I have so much sorrow for the widows, the children, the parents, the siblings, and the friends who have lost a loved one in this field and in these wars. I will remember, always, those who gave all in the name of freedom. May they rest in peace and bring comfort to their families as they try to carry on a life with a hole in their hearts.